I nuzzled a street cat last night. Hating myself rn.
"I tell my piano the things I used to tell you."
1) “Baby, you’re a perfect ten. I wanna get it in. can Can I get down so I can win?” It would actually be a little believable if she wrote those lyrics.
2) Ayo. Yr pussy 2 dry to be riding my dick this hard. (It’s charging now.)
i’m only reblogging this because it reminds me of the funniest thing that has happened to me in the past few months.
a couple of weeks ago, i was at a gay club and saw this stupid red balloon tied to this drunk girl’s wrist. whenever she stumbled, the balloon would stumble with her. I guess the balloon detached itself at some point because I SWEAR TO GOD IT FOLLOWED ME AROUND ALL NIGHT. At one point, i was talking to my friends and the balloon just landed in my hands. I couldnt deal with it and screamed so fucking loud just as a man I used to get makey outey with walked by. he pointed and laughed. i haven’t spoken to him in over a year. so that was good. If there was ever an image to define my life, it would be that one. Me holding a red balloon screaming while a previous male suitor laughs at me.
(Source: aliciousmoments, via whosyourfavoritekevin)
just wanted to let you all know that you’re following a complete shithead.